Hello everyone! I recently shared my story with a social media group called Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence. You can find them on Facebook. I wanted to post what I shared to my blog as it condences the story I have in my book. I hope this will help and encourage someone. I encourage you to read my book The Road Less Traveled: A Story of Love, Pain, Hope and Everything In-Between if you want to learn more. You can find my book at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble online, iTunes, Books a Million (BAM), Audible.com for those that like audio books, Kobo.com and the Kobo app, Goodreads.com and BookHub. In Canada, you can find my book at !ndigo.com, McNally Robinson Books, and Russell Books.
Remember, in silence and suffering evil continues. In speaking the truth, life and freedom come!
Here is my story:
My name is Elizabeth Billingsley. I am a public health nurse in Oklahoma City. I was married to a man for 3 years (we were together a total about 5 years -2009-2014) who I would later find out was bi-polar as well as diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorderd (BPD), two very dangerous combinations. He had been abused himself and carried this and his mental illness into adulthood. Unfortunatley he did not seek help although it was offered various times, even from the churches he and we attended. Yes he was a Christian and still dealt with these issues.
We met in the fall of 2009 through a friend. He seemed like a wonderful, charming Christian man. We dated for almost 10 months and he was looking for a job at the time so some of his outbursts I attributed to the stress of trying to find a job. Now I know they were shadows of what was to come. We married in 2011 and started what I thought would be a happy time in our lives. It didn't take long for "the monster" to come out. He was two people; the good sweet man, and a nasty, intimidating, frightening man. Although he had already verbally assaulted me once in 2010 (which I made an excuse for), his verbal assaults became more regular starting in late 2012. I could not figure him out! He would cycle which I now know was the bi-polar disease. He was going to lose it about something about once every three weeks. However in October of 2013, he added something new to these assaults - he added hitting. The first time he hit me was with a hard back book about not understanding something he said. He packed his bag and promptly left only to come back in and walk around in circles as if looking for something. To this day I think he was making sure I had not called the police. I knew it was a matter of time before he hit me again. He had also by this time begun to throw things and bulk up on me. I had to put furniture between me and him on more than on occasion. He had also begun to berate me in public.
In May of 2014 he would have his last blow up. I was done, I left. Something he was not anticipating. They never do anticipate you will stand up to them. I spent the next month trying to work things out with him to no avail because he did not want to change, he just wanted to control me and others. My husband took his life, his last unfortunate choice, in June of 2014. He did not kill himself because I left him, he killed himself because he wanted to and he had been so ill for so long and I believe he was tired of hurting people. I do believe Christians can struggle with things and God knows these things. I believe we all struggle and God sees us. I believe Jeff is with Jesus, despite his behavior, and I also believe he and Jesus had a good long talk when he got to Heaven. This did not absolve Jeff of his responsibility to change, something he chose not to do and that is very sad. I had to take responsibility for my own life and health so I left. Ladies and gentlemen, you can take back your life too, no matter what the other person does. You are only responsible for yourself and your children who are under 18 years of age, no one else. Don't stay another day where evil is abounding!
I hope this encourages and helps someone to get out! I also wrote about my experience. You can find more information out about this at www.elizabethbillingsley.com
I will say it again. In silence and suffering evil continues. In speaking the truth, life and freedom come!
Love,
Elizabeth